Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
