the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dicks are not precious.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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