he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
