i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
