roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
