It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
