Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
