So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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