absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
