i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
