I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?