Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?