Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  those are such fre$h shoes

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign

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  (508): those are such fre$h shoes (1-508): going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign http://tfl.nu/bk8p
  Replies (29) Good night (1477) Bad night (3846)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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  (918): Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out.... http://tfl.nu/hiy4
  Replies (14) Good night (4176) Bad night (766)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.

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  (256): Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay. http://tfl.nu/5ucl
  Replies (27) Good night (1534) Bad night (5012)
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  (661): View more from California

  So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?

  (818): View more from California

  I hate you.

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  (661): So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night? (818): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/ps95
  Replies (9) Good night (5152) Bad night (1067)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.

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  (618): My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has. http://tfl.nu/36lp
  Replies (11) Good night (6912) Bad night (1782)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.

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  (904): Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience. http://tfl.nu/i4o0
  Replies (5) Good night (1968) Bad night (930)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues

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  (703): I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues http://tfl.nu/075m
  Replies (7) Good night (2181) Bad night (947)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection

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  (651): My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection http://tfl.nu/v7yu
  Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (996)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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  (207): making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned http://tfl.nu/s1xm
  Replies (4) Good night (890) Bad night (720)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.

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  (608): I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week. http://tfl.nu/5pj6
  Replies (9) Good night (2054) Bad night (757)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.

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  (616): Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death. http://tfl.nu/ogc4
  Replies (9) Good night (2078) Bad night (559)
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  (310): View more from California

  The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.

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  (310): The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses. http://tfl.nu/2i38
  Replies (8) Good night (522) Bad night (1029)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."

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  (337): Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her." http://tfl.nu/whil
  Replies (10) Good night (1792) Bad night (500)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair

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  (201): If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair http://tfl.nu/7qee
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (566)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!

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  (419): Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!! http://tfl.nu/h9u7
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (333)

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