Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.