Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.

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(310): He's pole dancing on a heat lamp. http://tfl.nu/0l62

Replies (9) Good night (1454) Bad night (3372)
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(951): View more from California

Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.

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(951): Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper. http://tfl.nu/tu64

Replies (14) Good night (4717) Bad night (1052)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex

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(702): I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex http://tfl.nu/r82f

Replies (3) Good night (3864) Bad night (948)
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(845): View more from New York

i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.

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(845): i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over. http://tfl.nu/5sx1

Replies (1) Good night (4795) Bad night (774)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

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(856): Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning http://tfl.nu/91gn

Replies (6) Good night (2119) Bad night (987)
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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(801): I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped. http://tfl.nu/dgi2

Replies (10) Good night (1607) Bad night (659)
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(478): View more from Georgia

You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover

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(478): You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover http://tfl.nu/1qw9

Replies (1) Good night (702) Bad night (968)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�

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(225): And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity� http://tfl.nu/rf36

Replies (1) Good night (1284) Bad night (471)
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(951): View more from California

Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

(951): View more from California

...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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(951): Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch? (951): ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store... http://tfl.nu/jg4u

Replies (10) Good night (1456) Bad night (544)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.

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(720): I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned. http://tfl.nu/lcb4

Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (378)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work

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(412): the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work http://tfl.nu/2wj1

Replies (12) Good night (1466) Bad night (464)
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(513): View more from Ohio

And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea

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(513): And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3w5v

Replies (13) Good night (706) Bad night (414)
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(248): View more from Michigan

okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.

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(248): okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for. http://tfl.nu/81ty

Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (266)
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(650): View more from California

So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?

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(650): So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination? http://tfl.nu/zisu

Replies (2) Good night (268) Bad night (508)
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(702): View more from Nevada

But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?

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(702): But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him? http://tfl.nu/njmy

Replies (3) Good night (565) Bad night (300)

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