Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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