I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize