if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
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