She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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