$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
