I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
