Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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