Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
