i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you win again, gameday.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize