It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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