He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize