are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
