At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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