pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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