if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
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Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
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i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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