I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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