Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
