she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize