At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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