so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
