I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
