he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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