yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
