where am i from again
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
