dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
