just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize