My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize