He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
