ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
