I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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