i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
