Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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