and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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