And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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