shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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