I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
