But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
