Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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