Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
