You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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