i just google imaged poop.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
