If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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