I think I died a long time ago.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize