ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
