Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
