Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
