Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
