hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
