i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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