textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize