so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this will be a night to untag.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
