Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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