Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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